I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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