69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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