IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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