but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
