We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
