1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
even my farts smell like vagina
handjob tips. give me some.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
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his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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