Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
