i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
