i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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