Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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