tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Randomize
