Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
