me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
