I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
