why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
