So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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