They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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