hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
