DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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