just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
