apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's great music for shaving your balls
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
