they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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