She's JV to your varsity
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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