I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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