I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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