I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
