My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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