there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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