My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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