fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
