dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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