I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
