pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
