just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
