it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
