when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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