Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize