I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
