Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
