I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
