No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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