we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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