that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
