I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
