I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just got carded by a ten year old.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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