On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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