he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
