Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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