so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
