i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
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The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
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never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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