I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize