I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
only if we run a train.
done.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
