she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
