he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
