I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
