TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
