Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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