i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
