What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
