Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We named our party play list daddy issues
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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